~★SAIL AWAY ★~

We all know these feelings. We’ve all felt them, some way or another. Some have had better luck and some have had no luck at all, but we all know what they are about. Of course, we have different perceptions of them and different concepts of what they are and how to show that we feel them, but in the end we can safely assume everyone knows what I’m talking about when I refer to these two.Well… For me, these two have always been important. I’ve always longed to be loved and accepted and to fit in a group that would make me feel they cared for me as I cared about them. I’ve always dreamed about having a couple of real good friends, like those in the movies or in the books, those that are almost like brothers/sisters for you and that are there for you, no matter what. Of course, I haven’t found that and I’m kinda all to keep thinking someday my “childhood friend” will actually show up (mostly because my childhood is long gone). The two feelings go usually together and when you find friends, you find a source of love that’s different from that of your family and different from that of a couple. But I’ve never had luck with friends. All the ‘true’ friends I thought I’d found turned out to be traitors and people who were only using me and didn’t give a damn for me or my feelings. As for love in a romantic sense… Well. My attempts to interact in that level have been more than unsuccessful and disappointing. :/ And that’s usually one of the reasons why I hate myself and my life. Because there must be something about me that keeps people away and makes me fall into the same trap over and over again, right? It’s not possible that, just out of the blue and because life’s life, I keep meeting the worst, most unloyal and stupid people in the world.

BUT… and here’s when the whole point of this post appears. But lately I’ve felt that luck has changed a bit. I mean… My real, daily life continues to be kinda crappy. But through internet I’ve met some special people. One of them is my friend T.S. My gosh! We’ve been friends through e-mail for like… 5 or 6 years! We’ve never seen each other in real life, we’ve never even called each other or anything. Only pictures and mails for ever. And he’s really my best friend, nowadays.

But there’s more. There’s Maple and the people I’ve met there. I know a lot of people there (although not as many as some others, who have 50 friends in their buddy lists xD) but lately something has changed and the relationship I had with 2 of those friends has entered a new stage. And it’s so good! I mean… I don’t know if I can even describe it with words. D. and P. are two of the people I’ve liked and cared for the most in these past years. And I don’t even know how they look like! I’ve only seen their characters in the game and nothing else, cause they both don’t want us (my sis and me) to see their faces yet. xD But it doesn’t matter! Nothing seems to matters with them. They are younger than me (as most people in the game), live in a country far away from Chile, don’t speak a word of Spanish… And, even though, we get along so freaking well!! They both make me drool and make me laugh and make me happy, everytime I’m with them. Gosh! *.* We’ve even played being couples (my sis and P., D. and me, cause D. is a bit older) and sometimes I really wish it would all be true and we could actually end up being a couple. D. is so adorable! And so is P.! *.*

But, letting my crazy ideas behind, they’ve become 2 of my dearest friends. They are so nice and concerned and tender and nice and all!! We have great times together, training like crazy (specially now that we’re on our crazy way to reach lvl70 together ASAP), playing and talking non senses!!! It’s great. They both bring happiness and fun to the game, specially when we need it the most. And they make me feel loved, they make me feel like someone cares about me, about what happens to me, about my points of view… They make me feel safe, make me feel accompanied. Even if our whole “couple” thing is just a game (for now xD), it makes me feel happy and, again, safe to know that D. will stand for me and revive me when I kill myself for doing something stupid or will protect me when some unknown guy starts asking me to be his in-game-girlfriend or stuff like that. They both make me feel like I’m not as alone and I always feel I am and that I have someone to rely on if I need it.

Well, they also make me wish I was younger! For obvious reasons. xD There was a particularly hurtful phrase that made me wish that even more than normal! But, there’s not much I can do to accomplish that goal, no matter how much I’d love to accomplish it! -_-

Anyway… I can only hope this is not a dream and it won’t fade away or die in time. I hope our relationship, our friendship, the trust and love we’ve developed for each other won’t end and that I can continue to feel their love and friendship and company until the end of my days. And I hope I find a time machine so I can go back to when I was 16! xD

Thank you, D. and P. Thanks for being who you are, thanks for being my friends, thanks for all your help and concern and thanks for all the love you give me and my sis everytime you’re on. I LOVE YA BOTH!